Friday, August 17, 2012

JENIFFER REACHES FOR HER TOWEL. IT’S NOT THERE BUT SHE SEES A SIX FOOT COCKROACH WITH IT WRAPPED ARONUND HIM . JENIFFER NEEDS TO STOP SELF-MEDICATING. GREGOR GIVE ME THAT TOWEL AND GET OUT OF HERE, SHE SCREAMS AT THE COCKROACH





Everyone is gone. I have the place to myself or at least I do for tonight. I would be out sailing but there is no breeze. I am drinking the last of the moonshine. Alcohol and weed makes for a laid back feeling. I am contemplating but I am not sure what it is that I am contemplating. I woke up this morning with an exaggerated sense of self-importance or maybe it was insignificance. It was so long ago and I can barely remember. Today I’ll be back on the road again.

Money becomes time
When time became money

Appearances are not self-explanatory – Guy Deutscher – Through the Language Glass, 2010  p14

I leave the Café Treste which sufficient time to make the 12:30 concert at St Patrick’s. I’m a block down Columbus. City Lights is across the street. In front of the bookstore is the bus stop.  I see a lady with red hair who seems to be waving at me. She is. It’s Leslie.  I wait for her. She’s on her way to work at the Children’s Museum at Fort Mason I turn and walk along with her. The great thing about not working is that you don’t have to stick to an agenda. Later I head out to Ocean Beach. I bask in the sun and take a walk along the beach. Little purple sail boats. Dragon kites high above the sand. What looked like a blanket of purple iris petals blanketed the sand above high tide. They didn’t smell like flowers. Dead limpets. The kite masters untangled their control lines looping their kites clockwise and then counterclockwise – elderly Chinese men. A large wave crashes ashore. I stop by the Beach Chalet and have a Park Chalet Amber. The barmaid said that she’d give me taste the hand pumped Dee’s Bitter Ale. I wait. She forgets. The view of the beach is fantastic from up here but the bar faces away from the window and I can only see the ocean from its reflection in the mirror. It’s only three-thirty. This is a tony place. Too upscale for me. I go back to North Beach, my regular spot. Cynthia and Paddy are bickering like lovers. They are telling each other how much they dislike each other.

The way to move upon water / Is to work lying down, as in love – James Dickey – The Whole Motion, 1992  p66

Lift the seat when you pee
If there is a urinal plese use it
            Instead)
Save the stall for the shy pee-ers
And if you must lower the seat
            When finished
            Shame on you
If you didn’t lift the seat       
            It’s a rotten experience
            Sitting in someone’s pee
And don’t forget to flush
            Thataboy!

After a few minutes of this, [he] stopped alerting us to snakes; it was too like shouting “Fly!” on a warm evening in a barnyard. There a lot of snakes… Nothing so well represented people’s sense of being violated by the [flooded] river as the image of the cottonmouth in the child’s crib – Jonathan Raban – Driving Home, 2010   p124

What is important and what is not. There is not…Oh, my pen just ran out of ink. That is important, I think

Venue 9 closed down last night and now they’ll put up a parking lot - Paradise. We all made rain together - snap your fingers, rub you our palms, slap your thighs, stomp your feed and then do it all again in reverse (feet, thighs, palms & fingers). Goodbye Venue 9

Photographs provide an alternative way of looking into history. Not into general history – but into a specific moment, a specific place. It is as if we have reached into the past and created a tiny peephole – Errol Morris – Believing is Seeing, 2011 p31

The world does not exist without its smells
And the well worn stone steps
And the polished wood of dark oil stained pews

The nature of the artificial is that it
Leaves nothing behind
Each day the world is scrubbed clean
Without need for charwoman
            With her lye and antiseptic

And Franco served Primo a banquet of egg dishes
Those who wanted to get out, he told him
Have no further need of them
Franco had made an elaborate pun
            (you have to be Spanish to understand,
            We might have served calf fries instead)
But Franco has no humor
Evil laughs but is not funny

Amoral brutes certainly commit torture, but in their hands it doesn’t become part of a legally sanctioned system – Cullen Murphy – The Atlantic, Jan/Feb 2010  p77

Not since Nazi Germany has any country been so prone to waving the flag as hasn been done the United States since 9/11 (although there was no shyness about waving it before then either).

The Inquisition with its stipulation that torture and interrogation not jeopardize life or cause irreparable ham, actually set a more rigorous standard than some proponents of torture insist on now – Cullen Murphy – The Atlantic, Jan/Feb 2010  p76

As a word carp is so crap – Martin Amis

And this particular perversion
Needs all the actualizing it can get;
Beside it Joyce’s pendent for excrement
And Burroughs’s interest for scaffolds
Seems sadly quaint

If your heart
Rejects it, retreats from it,
That’s age, that’s time
Fucking with you
Sucking the life from you
A persuasion is not conviction

All we know
For certain is
That what he will write,
Would not have been composed,

Be guessed at,
By anyone else

A man fights....
With his asshole
Power comes...
In the form of anger,
Up through the asshole

Contrails of more
Distant airplanes
Incandescent spermatozoa,
Sent out to
Fertilize the universe

The problem was much deeper that the failure to understand… [They] did not even understand that there was something there to understand – Guy Deutscher – Through the Language Glass, 2010  p133

I go out with the Hobie. The wind dies down. Next time bring the dog and a six pack. A woman will do you no good on such a small boatn (of course the dog won’t either, but the beer will).

The first two commandments for any great thinker: (1) Thou shall be vague, (2) Thou shall not escape self-contradiction – Guy Deutscher – Through the Language Glass, 2010  p136

I remember that I wanted to inhale myself – A Artaud

I have moreover
I definitively broke with
Art, style and talent

I mean that
I curse anyone

Who is going to consider them

 As

Works of art,

Works that
Aesthetically
Simulate
Reality...

None of them,
To speak exactly,
Is a work.

They are all attempts,
That is to say blows – probings or thrustings
In all the directions of hazard,
Of possibility,
Of chance

 Or

Of destiny

I have never
Studied anything,
But lived everything,
And that has taught
Taught me something

I have thrown
The communion,
The Eucharist,
God and his Christ
Out the window
And have decided...

I remember that
Ever since I was eight years old,
And even before that,
I always wondered who I was,
What I was,
And why I was alive?

I remember at the age of six
In a house, a number 29, to be precise,
Just as I was eating my afternoon snack

I asked myself what it meant
 to exist,
 to be alive,

What it meant
 to be conscious
of oneself breathing,

And I remember that
I wanted
 to inhale myself

In order to prove
 that I was alive

And to see if
I liked being alive,

And if so,
Why

In the long journey out of the self, / There are many detours, washed-out interrupted raw places / Where the shale slides dangerously / And the back wheels hang almost over the edge – Theodore Roethke – The Far Field, 1964

Two deep tokes and I was in slow motion watching everything as if in a microscope. I could concentrate on every little detail, one detail at a time. There were immense gaps of contemplation before anyone spoke and then they spoke with slow deliberation. People who I had considered dull suddenly had become wise. I’m two tokes over the line.

The mark of an exceptional mind is its ability to question the self-evident – Guy Deutscher – Through the Language Glass, 2010 p31

Love is not rational
Love is not blind
Love is a lot of things but
Love is not everything
Love is defiantly not eternal
At least no more than hate is

For me the Crimean War is the ‘perfect war.’  It was started for obscure reasons, was hopelessly murderous and accomplished nothing – Errol  Morris – Believing is Seeing, 2011 p36

The cicadas begin to chirr as the air begins to heat up. The leaves rustle in ripples as if at the beach. The sounds intensify in pitch, in volume as waves break.

Put down those seed in your hand. / These trees have no yet been planted – James Dickey – The Whole Motion, 1992 p49



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