I’m back now for good.
I said a year ago that the time was coming for my roaming to come to an
end. Now it has come. Its gets longer and longer for an injury to heal and my
knee constantly aches. Get it replaced everyone says. Everyone knows someone
that has had it done. They say its like night and day. And recovery doesn’t
take that long, they say. So I need to get something set up. With the VA that
may be a long while. How do you go about finding a doctor anyway? I know how to
find a place to live; I’ve done that (except that I have no furniture). It’s
getting ready to rain. It’s Sunday - seventeen minutes past noon. It’s dark
outside. I’m sitting on my sun porch with a view over the alley. One flower
succeeds another – jonquils, tulips, irises and now the peonies. Roses are
blooming in the alley. I picked a few and put them in a vase. There is rumbling off to the south. The blues
and greens are of the pastel shades the foretell that's big storm moving in from
the plains. I think I’ve done will as far as housing goes. An older home in a
centrally located area. If only my knee allowed me to get around. It’s
difficult enough walking the dog. Here comes the rain, time to close the windows. The dog doesn’t like thunder. He’s
sitting in my lap. Poor little baby. The two big items on my to-do list: find a
doctor and buy furniture. It’s coming down hard now. It’s difficult with the
dog sitting here. Everytime I stop petting him in order to type he tries to
lick my fingers. I could type much better without his help
There is an inverse relationship between geographic and
temporal ‘otherness’.
Every fallen petal / diminishes spring // So the wind
showers down a thousand / just to make me sad – Tu Fu
Early morning rain about 6AM. I’m up doing my journal entry.
I have caught up to date. The dog again peed in the bathroom in front of the
commode. I think, I could teach him to
hop up on the seat. He already knows the command ‘hop’. Yes, but then if he
hopped up there, rather than perch he'd just slide into the water. He isn’t a
bird. It’s probably the smell of my urine, some of it having dribbled on the
floor, I'm getting old. He likes to sleep on my discard clothes at night. Dogs see with their
noses. The rain has stopped. It is daylight now. The dog is barking at me. He
wants to go for a walk and my knees hurt.
Live long enough and you’ll discover remorse
The bride is too beautiful. They want to deceive me –
Catherine the Great
Eight out of ten deaths in the 18th Century were
ascribed to ‘fever’
Go out on the green
Any summer
Sunday
They show up in color coordinated
T-shirts
With lots of cold beer
And with wives in tow
Play kickball with the boys
Like in the
third grade
At the end of regulation play
Line up and
slap hands
With the opposing team in
Their own
colored T-shirts
Just like
in real sports
Someone will have to wash
Out the
grass stains
That’s you wife beaming
With pride
Hurry up pink and yellow
Are waiting
to play
Its all about sportsmanship
Obey the
rules, play
Fair and
restrain from
Gloating when you win
Life in
And then the bubble
Soccer players
Waddle out onto the field
Don't just watch
Come out and play with us
What a bunch of assholes
It was the left that was left crushed in the fall of
socialism for then anti-communism or the lessening of pain to assuage the
proletarian was no long seen as necessary or even useful. There is nothing to
hope for anymore. The free market is the solution, the only solution and who is
it who can say any different? Well, they could say it all they wanted too, but it
had no persuasive power. Just abstract ideas – utopianism. Capitalism is real,
it is the new Catholicism. Only the free (absolutely untethered) market is the
real. No need to make the world safe for democracy anymore. The free market is
democracy. All the intellectuals are now participating (buying big houses and
even yachts) and proclaiming, “it the best of all possible worlds”, neigh, the
only possible world. So fuck you. Get on board or die. And if climate change is real, then get on board and also die.
I had wanted life not to bother me too much, and had
succeeded – and how pitiful that was – Julian Barnes – The Sense of An Ending,
2011 p109
Evil can result from goodwill when unnecessarily applied. It’s
cause is not merely the bad will of evil people
But it is the nature of things to be seen only once, / As
they happen along, bumping into other things, getting along/ Somehow – John
Ashbery
Brownie – pixie, pic
Preset
pubescent
A la Alice
B Tokas
Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen – Jerome K
Jerome
95% of the parents of overweight children believe their
kids’ weight is ‘just right’.
How often do we tell our own life story? How often do we
adjust, embellish, make sly cuts? And the longer life goes on, the fewer are
those around to challenge our account, to remind us that our life is not our
life, merely the story we have told about our life. Told to others, but –
mainly – to ourselves – Julian Barnes – A Sense of an Ending, 2011 p104
Goddamn
It, shall
we
Buy a little
Car and salvage
Our surroundings
Keep off
our feet
Put it in
Small print
Think about
The earth
First. Maybe not
A damn big
One, why
not?
Peak production
That’s why
And no job
Will pay
enough
To lower the principle
And save a
Not able to buy both fuel
And organic
produce
Too. It’s too damn
Much. Too
damn
Much
Half a million Americans have annual medication cost that
exceed $50,000. The number of such
patients has increased 86% since 2013 and account for 16% of the total spending
on prescription drugs
It cost a lot of money to decide.
And they only pay you enough to get fat and sloppy – Walter Mosley –
Futureland, 2001
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