The first #22 goes by just as I exited the theatre - will it be a beer or a tea this evening. Beer is best late in the afternoon, not at night when the barflies are about, such pests. So it has to be a tea. The Dominos have been put away. A second 22 goes by. I am preparing to spend another twenty minutes here before the next bus comes. I was just finishing off my tea when that bus went by. Now I am nursing an insipid brew. Two men behind me are dropping celebrity names. I met. I saw. I know someone who …This was before she did “West Wing”. I took a class from Condolissa Rice. When was that? It was ten years ago. She must be older than she looks. But that was before they were celebrities. Right, right, yeah. I had season tickets for a long time and I think that I saw them there.
And not just winos – anyone homeless, who has to keep moving all day / with no place to go, even if shelter at night / gives them a chance to bathe their blisters, must know / week by week an accretion of weariness – Denise Levertov – The Great Unknowing, 1999 p31
Hunter was a characterization of himself or is he a characterization of one of his characters? I had just seen a documentary on Hunter S Thompson at the Roxie. When I got back to my neighborhood I went and rented the video “Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas. I still don’t comprehend Hunter. And I doubt that he did either. The perfect virtual human. The first modern man. Hunter S Thomas is America’s greatest tourist
“Inauthentic” men, men who avoid developing their own uniqueness; they follow out the styles of automatic and uncritical living in which they were conditioned as children – Ernest Becker – The Denial of Death, 1973 p73
A young white couple drive up in a platinum SUV. She is blond and tall and comes in for coffee. He awaits in the SUV with the engine running. She the retriever returns with large cups of coffee, not cappuccinos or other drinks of the fancy sort, but then their SUV is only a starter model anyhow. They have yet to reach the peak of their spending powers. A pseudo hippie with a hundred dollar bill and a yen for a fancy caffinated drinks enters. “Know where I can get cigarettes at this hour”” he asks. The alternative to the business suit - pony tail, distressed blue jeans, and an expensive hat and coat. A broker perhaps? Since seeing Hunter everyone appears to be playing at playing themselves, preening in mirrors without any reflection.
Every human being is… equally unfree, that is we… creates out of freedom a prison – Norman O Brown – Life Against Death: The Psychoanalytical Meaning of History, 1959 p123
Having written it down
The urge has been satisfied
Ink is sort'a like sperm
My fountain pen is empty again
Devoid of imagination, as the Philistine always is, he lives in a certain trivial province of experience as to how things go, what is possible, what usually occurs… Philistinism tranquilizes itself in the trivial – Soren Kierkegaard – The Sickness Unto Death, 1849 p175
Samae shakes out the loose seeds from the empty bagel delivery sacks onto the floor for Horton and his pals. A pseudo Horton gathers seeds at the periphery of the bagel crumb circle. The real Horton has a mangled left foot. This one has a mangled right foot. People place lye on windowsills to keep these pigeons away. This is the mutilation that results. The pseudo Horton is also more timid. Then the real Horton flies in and gets to the heart of this cleanup.
Man is protected by the secure and limited alternatives his society offers him, and if he does not look up from his path he can live out his live with a certain dull security – Ernest Becker – The Denial of Death, 1973 p74
Often what does not happen is more important than what does happen. One should always listen for the dog that does not bark
An escalator rides / On dinosaur spines / Towards day. And on Beyond – Barbara Howes – Collected Poems, 1995 p41
In the United Kingdom you can now monitor crime and get paid (sort of ) – watch closed circuit television for fun and profit. You can pay a private firm £20 a month for the privilege and £1 for each report that you make. The one that reports the most incidents of vandalism and shoplifting can win £1,000. The scheme has been appropriately labeled “iPod Fascism” Spy on your neighbors and win big bucks – may just be more popular than the boats.
The totality of the human condition is the thing that is so hard for man to recapture. He wants his world safe for delight, wants to blame other for his fate – Ernest Becker – The Denial of Death, 1973 p65
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