I watch her, carefully, impatiently. Have you finished your crossword yet, I ask? Yes, she finally with a sigh replies. Then you will listen to my reading? She relents with a another sight. I read her the part form today about unlearning (she had already heard me reading that part about the Good Doctor from Minnesota. That last part is not bad she said. Where did that take place? And I gave her the details on the Doctor of Internal Medicine who was in town for a convention and had gotten all caught up in Mark’s story of ravishing young Filipino girls. The doctor had wanted to be twenty again. No you don’t , I had told him. Yes I do, he assures be. You mean that you want to have the body of a twenty year old. You don’t want the angst, the questioning, the stupidity of being a twenty year old do you? Oh No, good God no. I want to know what I know now and be twenty again. You would be the ultimate nerd, I told him. You would be arrogant and aloft from all those adolescent games. No one would have anything to do with you . You would be a social pariah. Yeah, you are probably right, he admitted.
When Mark had first engaged him in talk of young pussy, he had asked what he did to protect himself from HIV infection. I had nudged him and said, “You’re professionalism is showing”.
Mark had originally said that he had seven kids and now he is saying that he only has five. The Good Doctor had two. The each rattled off the ages of their offspring. Neither had (or at least they did not offer to show) any wallet photos.
The Good Doctor is now ogling the barmaid in black. “Look at her”, he says, “her name is Esmeralda”. I agreed that that was a good name for her. You know, I told him, intellectuals have more sex. Really, he asks incredulously? Well not physically, I admitted. You are probably right and her name is probably Susan and she has the self conciet of bitch. I agreed (although I knew it to be untrue) and replied “But the fantasy was titillating was it not?”
A mine unfettered by authorities is sometimes capable of making interesting and accurate observations – Boris Akunin – Murder on the Leviathan, 2004 p39
Links (both hot and cold) pop up
In each text – connecting
One with another – this is
What Benjamin was trying for
Where the Arcades Project was going
I think
Each instance is different
But a trained sniper can spot them
A spider web of meanings
Awaiting a vibrating string
The violinist and his bow
My prey this time is
Bonnard or more specifically
It was Mme Bonnard who had been snaged
“A Bonnard interior, lacking only
The cat, the curving armoire
Or perhaps Mme Bonnard sponging
Herself in the bathroom”
“Most of his nudes are directly or indirectly
Of a girl whom he met when she was sixteen
And with whom he spent the rest of his life
The girl became a tragically neurasthenic woman:
A frightened recluse…with an obsession about
Constantly washing and bathing.”
First it was Berger and the former by Barnes
That picked up the theme of Mme Bonnard
This happens over and over
It’s the unconscious way that we construct
Reality – Politicians and marketers know this
It is hard to conceive of them as other than messages
From the past – My reading plan is on some
Universal track
I can control destiny by properly choosing what
I read
Like a pimple, a waterbug / comes into us / and our lives are full / of rivers. Heavy wagterbugs – Joseph Ceravolo – The Green Lakes is Awake, 1994 p41
These apocalyptic visions
Are not warnings
There is nothing to do
But turn out the lights
(if there is any energy left)
The day’s work is done
But the apprehensions get worst
Fill time with busy activity
It’s the only answer
As you await in the gloom
The power of terrorism is its ability to provoke counter productive and irrational state responses – The Nation (Jan 23, 2010) p3
The second time is the charm – this time I (we) made it all the way to the top – to the junction with the Appalachian Trail – yesterday I turned back less than a quarter of a mile from the ridge – the steepest part, my knee was giving out. It’s only two miles but mostly up (down if going back) but without any switchbacks (or at least very few)
IN MY CRIB (1): Autumn is very wild through / not like you you hear / autumn is / coming O seasons / Are you like the crib? / Can I understand what I / don’t like? Loneliness in my crib – Joseph Ceravolo – The Green Lakes is Awake, 1994o p60
I think greed is healthy. You can be greedy and still feel good about yourself – Ivan Boesky – the real question is can you be both greedy and healthy and still feel good about yourself?
The privacy of production
And power the only
Two things in our social lives
That matter
And they are done behind
Curtains where the wizard
Is pulling the levers
You can’t just click your
Heels three times
And expect to go home
Everything you are allowed
To see – permitted
To watch on a web camera
Is performance – everything
Except for production
And power
If you are allowed to see it
It’s not important
Listen for what you don’t hear
Look for what you don’s see
Go where you are not supposed to go
At a time when many others of the states’ social promises went unfulfilled, leisure and leisure-time activities took on a mediating function by allowing members of the middle class to believe they had become what they had always wanted (and had been promised) to be equal members of society – Hans Ulrich Gumbrecht – In Praise of Athletic Beauty, 2006 p78
The leaves are a tender young
Green – pale, yellowish, fresh
Not yet insect eaten and leathery
Still translucent as they will be again
Before the drop from the trees
In the fall
While dogwood petals litter the
Forest floor
Unconscious manifold igneous / summer, / and the flies on the pillow sheet, / and the cactus colored window / buzz the chandelier great white weather – Joseph Ceravolo – The Green Lakes is Awake, 1994 p92
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