One Does Not Love the Same Woman Twice Except If She is a Succabus

Umh! – apple pie – a big slice – can you heat it up – sure, she said. Want whipped cream on that? No – it just seemed too much. I’ll bring it out. Getting my refill I looked around. It just looked too good to pass up. Now for hunger pangs – a hot slice of freshly baked pie is on the way. Outside it is 4 degrees.

The Progressive institutionalized meritocracy as a means of social control, to insure that those with the ‘correct’ characteristics got the highest position in the society and that those who were not as suitable believed in the objectivity and fairness of the decision which put them in their places… The definition of democracy had changed from rule by the people to rule by the intelligent – Martin Carnoy – Education as Cultural Imperialism, 1974 p253

Sunday afternoon. The Bears are whooping the Seahawks. I am at Hoopers drinking a Boulevard Single Wide. I am reading Guy Davenport’s Tatlin! – I am looking at a drypoint etching of Lenin on page 15. It ias 24 degrees. I yearn for the sun. To sit in the sun in shorts. Instead I am wearing my longjohns and watching TV. I miss my natural light sunlamp.

The increase of useless wealth of individuals in the form of gadgets sold by advertising, may not add to human virtue, but then, it adds to folly which is equally human – Paul & Percival Goodman - Communitas, 1960 p188

There is a wind out of the south or is it coming from the north? The dried clump of pampas grass is tossed about and springs back. It is hard to tell which is the bend and which the rebound. First it moves one way than the other way then back again. The flag flying on the pole that is in front of the Presbyterian church seems to be flapping to the south, but it is a block away and I may be wrong. It was 36 degrees when I left home. It is probably colder now that the wind has picked up. I need to get a tank of gas. This is a holiday. The library is closed. Three blonds sit and giggle. They all have tan scarfs around their necks and wear knee high leather boots. They have smoothies, well what used to be smoothies – they have mostly consumed them while gabbing. Whatever it was, it was green. Sucked up through straws.

Merit shifted the responsibility for an individual’s productive capacity to the individual himself and away from the structure and organization of the economy – Martin Carnoy – Education as Cultural Imperialism, 1974 p253

One morning I work up. I was suddenly aware that I was the sole survivor now. And I knew that my memory was no longer as reliable. There was no longer anyone to correct what I said. I rambled on and forgot the point of what I was trying to say. Even though I hadn’t seen her in 35 years she had now been dead for seven months. The onus burden of her physical existence was beginning to lift. The fog was dispersing. A faint glow began to appear in the sky. I was now alone. I could no longer long for a reconciliatiobn. What would I do if she tried to make contact with me. That was impossible now (it had always be highly improbable). For a while I thought that she might be trying – someone from Landham MD has signed onto my blogg. Now I knew that it was not her. She was dead. What I don’t say know will never be said. No one but I knew anything about it and I too would die.

In general when the consumption of a product is removed from its production, by the geographic distance between the factory and home, by the economic distance of sale and resale, by the temporal distance between its making and its use, the product is encased in a series of packages – Paul & Percival Goodman - Communitas, 1960 p181

I don’t know (can’t) how
        To stop
I rush on into the dark
I hurl myself over a
        Cliff


Then I wake up
Sore and bruised
        (Black and blue)


A succubus perhaps
But that's just a guess

One does not love the same woman twice – Machado De Assis – Epitaph of a Small Winner, 1952 p96