Friday, February 10, 2012

Rain is Falling and I Can't Get Up


Dog and I go for a short walk. The wind picks up. It is getting colder. It is getting darker. Right after we get back it begins to rain. I got muddy dogie paw prints all over this page. After jumping up onto the table where I am writing he goes over and lies down on the bed. The rain is now coming down in a steady patter. We are at a Corp of Engineer’s campground. We are not the only ones here. There are some fishermen. Their pickup trucks with empty boat trailers are parked near the toilet. There were five trucks yesterday but only two today. There is a guy who lives nearby who comes down here every day to walk his dog, Mr B. Trail Dog and Mr B have become friends. A young Mennonite man drove his buggy by today. He tied his horse to a tree. He said the view is nice when there is no leaves in the way. Trail Dog had not seen a horse before and was curious. I hope the horse is used to dogs, I say. Oh yes, he replies, I have a dog. Trail Dog paws the ground and tries to act furious. He is not fooling anyone

No one (or at least I never read one that did) writes as lovingly about RVing as they do about yachting (or even boating). Is it that the RVer never leaves the dock? The wildest spot with payment and an electrical outlet is never as lonely as two miles offshore. I have my Donald Duck (any travel trailer under twenty feet) and about to sail forth. Where you going, they ask. South, I reply. Ok, but south where. I don’t know, just south. I'm not filing a flight plan. None is required. My credit card company will know where I go. Homeland Security will monitor me. It is impossible to get lost anymore, buy it is easy to get mislaid.

My habit of seeming slower, more maladroit, or stupid than I am, had its origin in such walks, and has the great attendant danger of making me think myself quicker, more dexterous and shrewder than I am – Walter Benjamin

Natural nature
            Real with its adipose fin
Intact
Authentic – absolute
            Guaranteed – real
Natural nature
The genuine in nature
            Still intact
Natural therapy
            Au natural
Back to nature
            In a 4x4

One quickly grows used to the extraordinary, as long as there is hope it will be revealed as the product, even if a diabolical product, of order – Robert Musil – The Man Without Qualities, 1956  p1289

It’s snowing big flacks that angle as they fall towards the river. And then they swirl about and blow up Main Street instead. A train rumbles by a hundred yards away on the edge of the flood pain. I am still upset about the computer. God that was an expensive cup of coffee. The more we have to pay for our mistakes the less likely we are to accept our negligence. You only learn lessons form the dents – the scratches in the paint.

One can be inspired by Artaud. One can be be scorched, changed by Artaud. But there is no way of applying Artaud – Susan Sontag – Under the Sign of Saturn, 1980 p68

There is a monotone to a business man’s patter – it is boring, simply meant to lull; it’s a lullaby. Allay the customers' anxieties – on and on it goes in a maniacal staccato of grandiose plans and grand schemes. Much money is to be had. No pause for response. No interruptions permitted. On and on it goes – nod your head if you agree. These are things that we can help you do. For instance…. Bla bla bla. I can either show you how to…. He wants to help him build his web site with a video. When we sat out we probably had thirty or forty clients and now we have over a hundred. The implied meaning is that the window of opportunity is rapidly closing. Now is the time to act.

Everyone talks business – health, education, real estate, investment – if not experts, they are at the least salesmen. Very few of them work – move things, install windows, pick up the trash. They know about the body, though – it is an RV.

In every society, the definitions of sanity and madness are arbitrary – are, in the largest sense, political – Susan Sontag – Under the Sign of Saturn, 1980 p64

Is it warming up any? No. Warming up any? Nope. I hear it won’t. I hear there’s another ice age on the way

The more lifeless things are, the more potent and ingenious can be the mind which contemplates them – Susan Sontag – Under the Sign of Saturn, 1980 p120

Taking coffee
            Talking of coffee
Talking coffee
Drinking morning coffee
            Hurrah for caffeine
            Talking about beans
This morning, every morning
Good morning America!
            Bold – French roast
            Peru or Brazil
Taking coffee to the sound
            Of saxophones
A refrigerator hums
The barrista washes
            The counters
Now serving breakfast
            Mugs clink
There’s a buzz
            In my head

Memory, the staging of the past, turns the flow of events into a tableaux – Susan Sontag – Under the Sign of Saturn, 1980 p116

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