Friday, March 14, 2014

Dobbie Gillis and the Little People




I’m in Mississippi and I’m reading Tolstoy on how despicable he found Shakespeare to be. He claimed to have completely read his oeuvre three times, so he’s not just be talking out of his mouth. Mississippi Pubic Radio is all talk. So I’m reduced the reading this because there’s no classical or jazz to listen to. Mississippi has the largest churches and the stupidest people in this country (not that they are related or that there are not big churches and stupid people elsewhere – there are, there are a lot of them). I am starting to feel stupid. I think I’ll go look for a big church. Back to Tolstoy, he does give Shakespeare some credit, he says that he had a certain technical skill which was partially due to his having been an actor. I’m not actually reading Tolstoy but an essay by George Orwell on Tolstoy’s pamphlet in which he pisses on Shakespeare’s leg. Orwell doesn’t agree with Tolstoy. But I have some sympathy with Tolstoy. I find Shakespeare incredibly boring to read. I actually liked him in high school (Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice). I tried reading him recently and found him boring. Must be because I’m down here in Mississippi. It’s not their fault. The latest theory on obesity – it’s due to the microbial flora in the human gut. Antibiotics and hormones as part of the food chain have dramatically altered the human gut flora according to recent research and that maybe the cause of the our obesity epidemic (of which Mississippi has the nation’s highest incidence). Don’t blame in on Southerners and don’t blame on ignorance and don’t blame in on the Republicans (but it would be OK with me if you did). It’s not their fault. Blame in on factory farming if you must. I’m fat and I’m stupid and I’m proud. Big billboards proclaim the nearest gunshow (Feb 14-16 in Hattisburg). Get an assault weapon. Buy lots of ammo. I haven’t seen a drive-up gun shop but there’s probably one around here somewhere. “Wanta due a drive by? Well drive right up. No need to wait. Title loans made on the dot.” Drive a pick-up truck (hay, wait a minute, I drive a pick-up truck). To buy wine in this state you gotta see a man in a steel cage and even then all he’s got is Gallo in a jug and Franzia in a box.

Most cultures have a complex system of rituals, rules and traditions that limit who can take which drugs, under what circumstances, and with what preparation. An exception is modern Western culture where prohibition means that such natural protective systems cannot develop – Susan Blackman – Consciousness: a short introduction, 2008 p104

“Are you Leprechauns by any chance?”

“No, we just take on the appearance of whatever will blend in” (although I didn’t think they blended in here very well).

“So can other people see you then?” I was worried that the other folks at the bar might thing I was talking to myself

 If you’re worried about it we can erase their memories for you.”

“No that’s OK. They all think I’m weird anyway. They won’t think any different of me after this.  You don’t mind if I think of you as Leprechauns?”

The generic name we prefer is ‘little people’”, Psmith said.

“We are not really Psmith and Jones, Jones said.”

“So I could call you guys anything I want. I think I’ll stick with Psmith and Jones.”

 “It’s all the same to us, but we’ve found that ‘Little People’ works best.” 

“Are there always two of you. You sort of remind me of Mormon missionaries, I said. They were wearing black suits, black ties and white shirts but had on no shoes. Their feet, I notice (I look under the table) are hairy and they both smelt like wet dogs.

They had just come in form the dessert, Jones told me.  “Which desert would that be, I had to ask.” There was no desert within a thousand miles of here.

“The Sahara”, Psmith replied.

Then it hardly seems appropriate for you gust to have wearing suits out there in the desert, I added.”

“You didn’t ask what we were doing in the desert, Jones said.”

“No I didn’t, I replied. I give up on trying to make any sense of this.”

“Good, said Psmith, so now we can get down to business.”

“Brass tacks, Jones said. We got something we want to run up the flag pole and see if you salute.”

“Oh come on boys, do you have to mouth off every cliché in the business manual.”

“We find that it help”, Jones replied.

“And I suppose that before you guys leave you’ll tell me to have a nice day”.

“We usually do”, Psmith said.

“We have a manual,” Jones added.

Common sense always speaks too late – Raymond Chandler – Playback. 1958

Scott sat down beside me. “That guy Psmith really puts it away for a little guy,” he says to me.

Psmith and Jones have disappeared. “You know him?”, I asked.

“Seen him around. Him and that other little guy.

“Little People”, I said.

“Yeah,” Scott replied. “Strange little guys. And Mormon missionary too, I understand.  I didn’t know they were allowed to drink.”

“They’re Little People. They are not Mormons,” I said.

“Then what are they”, he asked, “beside being little, that is?”

“I’m not sure. I know they’re not Mormon. But I do believe they are missionaries,” I told him. “They are defiantly on a mission”.

“Are there more of them?” Scott asked. “There’s no circus in town so that can’t be it. Is there a little people’s convention?. I know, they’re remaking the ‘Wizzard of Oz’.”

“I don’t think so”, I replied. “ Sometimes there are more and somethimes there are less but there is never just one.”

Socialism is, essentially, the tendency inherent in an industrial civilization to transcend the self-regulating market by consciously subordinating it to a democratic society – Karl Polanyi

I nuzzle a Poppy Jasper and listen to country music at the Zeitgeist. It’s a biker bar with a beer garden. It could have had a Death & Taxes but I’m not in the mood for a dark ale, not just yet anyway. The waitress is on roller skates. The have porta-johns around the beer garden. There is a big hairy biker wearing colors chowing down on a burger. He’s a big guy but it still takes both of his fists to shove the burger into his mouth. He says he has a burger and two pitchers a day. I don’t doubt it. And I don’t banter with anyone wearing colors. I’ve read my Hunter regarding Angels. One of the gals on roller skates asks for a Churchill and a Stella. “Oh, your so wonderful.” Dirty glasses are hauled in from the garden in stacks two to three feet high. They are washed and refilled and back out they go. It’s an endless cycle. One of the wheeled ladies glides in behind the bar. “This is not really a roller skates day,” she says. I not sure that I know what she means. A guy at the end of the bar asks for a ‘jar’. “Don’t the it sell by the quart?” I ask. “All I know is that they call it a jar and it saves me a trip to the bar,” he replies. “And its not as expensive as a pitcher,” and he returns to the patio with a jarfull. “I love chocolate chip cookies….life is so good….oh, really…right on…that’s awesome”. The bar fare here is minimal – burgers, brats and fries. It’s the beer and the comradeship that brings em in here. Big charcoal grills sizzle. Big mamas, little mamas, all kinds of mamas and their daddies. This is the only beer garden that I’m aware of. This is not a back yard bar-b-que town. It’s too rainy, foggy, dreary. Not a lot of  good Christian fun. It’s not that kind of town, thank God. I kinda like the place. But I don’t want to get too comfortable here. That’s the easiest way to get into serious trouble. I have two beers and I move on.

The best of places
Are the places
Where you grow older
Without having to get
            Any wiser
If you do
You gotta move on
You lose you’r place
            If you get wise

Some people say, “How can you live without knowing?”. I do know what they mean. I always live without knowing, that is easy. How you get to know is what I want to know – Richard Feynman – The Meaning of It All

Supposedly short term memory can hold only seven items at a time. It’s the same as the number of items in a group that you can recognize without counting each one. Are the two abilities – seven items in short term memory at a time and seven items in a group - related? Does seven times seven mean something?

For the age group 30-50 health costs rose by more than 75% (faster than even that of the elderly) between the years 1987 and 2000. The main causes were depression, angioplasty, diabetes, hypertension and musculoskeletal injuries

The chairs lifted from the porch to the table, and the sorghum set out, and the butter, sugar, salt, pepper, a spoon straightened, the lamp set at the center; the eggs turned; the seething coffee set aside; the meat reheated; the biscuits looked at; the straight black hair, saturated with sweat and smoke of pork, tightened more neatly to the head between four black pins; the biscuits tan, the eggs ready, the coffee ready, the meat ready, the breakfast ready – James Agee – Now Let Us Praise Famous Men, 1939 p90

What is difficult to measure is excluded

In a modern city if you have noting to do (and if  you’re not broke and on the street), it’s tough to find people to do nothing with – Martin Amis – London Fields

Fly by wire
            Live
In a remote
            Corner
This world is
            A world
This world is
            Live
For those who
            Think young
It’s on auto mode
Nothing gets done
If it’s out of tune
            Space is out there
Muscles need
            Exercise
Or atrophy sets in
The gray cells
            Need to be
            Entertained
Subscribe
            Live young
A whole life long

There are also, in the world, a number of phenomena that you cannot beat that are just the result of general stupidity. And we all do stupid things, and we know some people do more than others – Richard Feynman – The Meaning of it All

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